glimpse inside of the soul

i think im too nice… i think i have too much hope…i think i deserve better.. i honestly think your scandlous and a jerk off and a lying selfish prick!! i think your too self indulged… i think you know nothing about anything you say you think you know…i hate you.. but i dont hate you when it comes to you as my friend.. im tired of you walking all over me and disrespecting me…i wish i realized from the begining when we ever first started talking.. i should have known better…how stubborn was i… super…maybe a part of me doesnt want to loose a friend but the part knows its better to part…i dnt deserve this and never deseved any of it.. i have been nothing but nice and forgiving.. but im tired of empty broken promises and tired of being disrespected and lied too.. hate the feeling of betrayl and not knowing… tired of trying to just get no where.. to get stomped to the ground once again.. heart bashed open..bleeding… its like drowning…a slowly suffering.. i think you dont know what it feels like.. i think you dont really care.. or will ever realize…oh well…theres nothing left to lose besides my world and my mind…is it all worth it??

I realize I have been being selfish lately. My focus has changed. I feel guilt and sadness. For I have been so caught up in my so called life. I have unintentionally forgotten about my mother. I need to be there for my mother more. I need to make more effort and more time to visit her. I need to make her more proud. She has given me a whole lot of what she can. And I havnt done my best to give her more of what she deserves.

I’m not a doll. I am not a toy. Yet this is how I feel unable to control myself or my life. I’m told what to do what to eat how to sit and what to wear. A puppet.

How can I live like this? Captive in my own home. I have the longing to breath. Yet I can’t seem to gasp for air. As I am tormented in this life. Prisoner.slave. You name it. I am and will be forever tormented. Please help me.

As the day progressed it seemed like a horrible nightmare…a perfect day was in ruins…as much as I cried as much as I even try calmly talking, you did not budge… As much as I screamed as much as I expressed… You did not budge…even as much as I was hurting and you can see and hear you did not care enough to budge… As I drove myself to do insanly things you did NOT budge…

Too much negativity around me sometimes! Total dislike.

Another annoying day in the life of Vicky!!

Love love love the feeling of happiness.

I love how people judge you by what they hear but unfortunately they have no idea, so why judge.